I am not sure if i want to re-live last night, but I would like to share what I have kind of figured out while I was sleeping, mainly digesting what I have observed from my long chat with missy daisy and mr. fish……
What did this Involve?
Woman (or the party who is more inclined to the feminine side in a relationship)
Her emotional struggle
Her trying to communicate it
With her beloved.
What Is The Issue At Hand?
This is a simple equation
That exists looong before time
Woman feels insecure
Woman tells man about it
Man thinks that the something which is making woman insecure is irrelevant
Hence brushes it aside (worse, thinking that she is pms-ing and it is only a moment of irrationality, which will pass within a few days….*honestly, this is the WORST kind of explanation a man could possibly EVER come up with in his head, whether he communicates it verbally or not!*)
Then the insecurity brews and grows quietly but surely in her
All because of a small matter that nags and takes advantage of her insecurities
What Could Have Been A Possible Solution?
attend and nip the issue at the butt
first by acknowledging that whatever issue the woman is facing
is of importance, at least to her, to her world, to her perspective.
THEN he should
out of the love and concern he has for her
attend to the something / issue that is bothering her immediate
no matter how insignificant the issue might be in his book
before it snowballs into an irrational brawl
because by then, when it reaches the irrational brawl, the woman will hate herself
for turning into this horrible nasty slimy creature
then, she will get angry at the man
who would have this question mark in his head “what have I done??”
then he would ask her “What do you want me to do to make you happy?”
that sentence will escalate the issue to a whole new level
because, she will feel that you have just given her a tight slap in her face (well, it would actually feel
better if it was an ACTUAL slap in this case, not that any woman would want it)
because this question, which is a genuine question from the man’s part, will be translated to
“I give up, now just tell me quickly what I need to do, I will do it, and then we just quickly get over this so that I can go on to do the things I like than to deal with you this maddening woman”
“Ok, whatever, I will do as she tells me, I don’t really want to spend time THINKING about what she wants, just give me the quick fixes…”
Yes, the man might rebuke that this is not true, not what his intention is
This is exactly what is appearing to her, what his question is IMPLYING to her
And then she will say the forever mystical two words that puzzles man to no end
“Never mind….” Or “Forget it….”
What Happens Next?
Things seem to have calmed down and water seems to have run under the bridge
The truth it
It is not
It is still brewing
In her heart
and the next time
when it erupts again
the man better be thoroughly well-prepared to take the accummulated aftermaths